3/25/2005 07:59:00 PM|||Britt|||Much has been written about Amazon's statistically improbable phrases. Let me add to the pile by announcing I have been thinking about this for years. (Take note companies looking to hire a visionary.)
I have been thinking about this before the internet. In the years when blogs were handwritten in journals, I had a Mead three-subject notebook (5.5" x 9.25") that I blogged in for an audience of one. The back inside cover featured a few handy tools such as a dry measure table, a liquid measure table, twelve one-line spaces for names and phone numbers, and a list of frequently misspelled words, which included the word misspell in case you didn't catch the correct spelling in the title (Frequently Misspelled Words).
One day while staring at this list (you had to stare at something before the internet), I noticed some improbable grouping of words. I started circling the groupings and eventually limited myself to groupings of three words to make it more difficult.
I thought about using the groupings as subject matter for short stories or journal entries. The page has traveled with me, waiting years for blogs to become popular. It can wait no more.
Here is my list of statistically improbable phrases gleaned from a list of Frequently Misspelled Words printed on the inside back cover of a Mead notebook (circa late 1980s, early 1990s).
- Audible auxiliary aviator (loud-mouthed co-pilot)
- Brilliant brochure budget (no money for the graphic designer)
- Divine ecstasy effect (I'll say)
- Gigantic gorgeous government (I didn't vote for him)
- Hectic height hindrance (a short person about to board a busy amusement park ride)
- Kidnapped kindergarten knowledge (buy the book)
- Occasionally occurred occurrence (sex for most men)
- Persuade physician poison (known in Oregon as the Death with Dignity Act)
- Presumptuous privilege procedure (letting sixteen-year-olds apply for drivers' licenses)
- Publicly pursue quantity (I didn't vote for him)
- Relevant relief repellant (farting in front of your boring date)
- Sizable skeptical souvenir (passing off a chunk of old concrete as a piece of the Berlin Wall)
- Speech splitting statistics (any political debate)
- Temporary tenant tendency (suck ass landlord)
- Their theory tomorrow (DNC tagline)
- Visible visitor volume (port-o-potties at an outdoor rock concert)
|||111181109224906999|||Statistically improbable title