When I get going, I can maintain momentum for a good two or three hours. Getting going requires lots of chemicals, time, and environmental changes. I’ve searched for shortcuts to getting going, but they evade me.
I can stop and think: do this. It really doesn’t matter if I have fifteen available minutes or five hours. I’m always expecting an interruption. I can’t ignore the possibility of interruptions. Expecting them brings anxiety. Anticipating them cause inaction. When they don’t come, I wonder why.
I realize that I do need time to do nothing. I must relax and allow it, but it seems necessary to schedule doing nothing. I also need time to dawdle, to fiddle around, and to tinker. Those alone can take time away from my real projects, ones that need the serious attention I seem to have lost somewhere between finishing grad school and having a child.
I’ve also considered chucking it all and giving up on my dreams. It seems that was the norm of the generation my parents lived in. I rebelled against that idea and don’t want to raise the white flag yet. I’m not young and I’m not old. I don’t have the energy to pursue new interests like I used to. I chip away like the prisoner with the spoon digging the thick concrete cell walls.
Perhaps I’ll see daylight one day.
Here is your horoscope for Monday, January 9:
If you’ve always felt like you had the right to write, now is the time to get started. Read great books for inspiration. Talk with other people who are in the same boat. Then get your butt in the chair and get started.
Point taken. Butt has been firmly planted all year.
Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, January 10:
In creative endeavors, it’s always important to let your thoughts flow without censoring yourself initially. The time for editing and shaping will come later. Just make sure you get everything in your heart on the page.
My heart is bleeding, but I still have a tendency to get out the Band-aids now and then.
Here is your horoscope for Thursday, January 12:
While everyone’s lolling around in the winter doldrums, you’re pursuing your goals with fierce determination. Distractions have no place in your life as you focus on the desired outcome. Success is all but assured.
(blushing) I do realize that fierce determiniation is open to interpretation, but that last sentence had me riding high all day.
Here is your horoscope for Saturday, January 14:
The sizzle you generate right now could fuel a power plant — or two. It’s so very exciting, especially when your flirty sense of style attracts attention from some very unexpected quarters.
You could have held off on the sizzle. I’m going strong but I’m not ready for the sizzle. Come back in three months for some sizzle. I am working on that flirty sense of style. Got my haircut.
