It’s a tough morning for getting gout of bed, but somehow you manage. Your energy levels never quite reach the point you’d like them to, but it’s all just part of life’s ebb and flow.

Actually, Astrology.com, I did think I was getting gout, but not from my bed. From too much uric acid in my blood. Not sure if it was gout after all but it’s always good to reduce your levels of uric acid. Sounds too much like a bad seventies band.

My energy levels haven’t reached the point I’d like them to in about eight years. I need less ebb and more flow. Line those stars up for me and get a new copy editor while you’re at it.

Expect a slow start today, no matter how many shots of espresso you go over your usual limit! Sometimes, your energy just needs to stay hidden in order for you to recharge and come back later.

Thank you, Astrology.com, for confirming what I have been telling myself for months. My energy is hiding so I can recharge. I’m sure in a few months, when these cloudy skies of Portland give way to sun, my energy will come back in bucketfuls. If it doesn’t, I can up my limit of espresso shots for a little while longer until I have to start selling plasma to afford my habit.

Here is your horoscope for Monday, January 9:

If you’ve always felt like you had the right to write, now is the time to get started. Read great books for inspiration. Talk with other people who are in the same boat. Then get your butt in the chair and get started.

Point taken. Butt has been firmly planted all year.

Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, January 10:

In creative endeavors, it’s always important to let your thoughts flow without censoring yourself initially. The time for editing and shaping will come later. Just make sure you get everything in your heart on the page.

My heart is bleeding, but I still have a tendency to get out the Band-aids now and then.

Here is your horoscope for Thursday, January 12:

While everyone’s lolling around in the winter doldrums, you’re pursuing your goals with fierce determination. Distractions have no place in your life as you focus on the desired outcome. Success is all but assured.

(blushing) I do realize that fierce determiniation is open to interpretation, but that last sentence had me riding high all day.

Here is your horoscope for Saturday, January 14:

The sizzle you generate right now could fuel a power plant — or two. It’s so very exciting, especially when your flirty sense of style attracts attention from some very unexpected quarters.

You could have held off on the sizzle. I’m going strong but I’m not ready for the sizzle. Come back in three months for some sizzle. I am working on that flirty sense of style. Got my haircut.

It won’t be long now. You’ve been holding on and being as discreet as possible for weeks, but it’s just about time for someone — and this time, it won’t be you — to let the cat out of the bag.

Wait a minute, Astrology.com, this sounds familiar. As in YESTERDAY!

You’ve been sitting on this one for weeks — and maybe even months. You were sure that all parties concerned would be discreet — but now it seems that you’re the only person still willing to keep quiet. Keep at it.

I suppose you were really hoping that I had some kind of secret news that I was holding back. Like what? My wife being pregnant? Sorry. No secrets there. One is enough right now.

Besides, I’m terrible at keeping secrets. There is absolutely nothing I’m sitting on, no cats in the bag. Sorry to bum you out like that, Astrology.com, but you’re just going to have to drop this one.

Oh, wait. There is that one thing…

Your friends are worried. They haven’t seen you in far too long, and they miss you — and the entertainment you never fail to provide, too. Surprise them with an invitation to your place for pizza.

That invitation for pizza would have to include round-trip tickets to Portland, Oregon, Astrology.com. Most of my friends live elsewhere these days. You see, ever since Mackenzie was born, I haven’t really been the man about town you fancy me to be. Added to that, many of my friends moved, sending me down here, to the basement, to tap my thoughts to a wider, but eerily silent, audience.

I do have some friends in Portland and I am making an effort to dig up more. But it’s just not as easy as it was in fourth grade. Or was that third grade when it was so easy to make friends?

And I have you, Astrology.com. You always bring me something to think about and never roll your eyes when I complain.

Still busy at work? Bet someone who’s fond of you isn’t all that happy about it. It’s time for some quality time together — and if that means clearing it with an authority figure, so be it. Ask now.

This missive seems on target, if in a roundabout way, Astrology.com. Yes, I’m still busy at work. Good start.

At first glance, it would be too easy to assume by fond, you mean my wife. I did work late tonight but that is a rarity. Besides, I wouldn’t have to clear anything with an authority figure for some quality time with my wife.

Perhaps you are hinting at someone at work. I suppose someone there could be someone there who is fond of me and would need quality time for a project, in which case I might have to clear it with an authority figure, although it’s not quite that, uh, bureaucratic at my workplace.

I’m in an all-day training session on project management for the next two days so I doubt I will have time to put your advice into action. Hang in there, Astrology.com, you could be on to something.

Talk about hard work — and no complaining. You’ll be up for that and much more over the next month. In fact, if someone has a job to do and no one to do it, you’ll be delighted to step in.

Thanks for the warning, Astrology.com. I guess it’s time to take some of that sick leave, eh?

‘Tis true, I am not a complainer. Never have been, but it’s never too late to start. I’m also the type of person who rarely says no, which means my only choice is to avoid anyone who looks like they might have work to do.

If someone has a job to do and no one to do it, I think I’ll just slip out the back. After all, Astrology.com, I am not a believer.

Today will be your best opportunity to ask favors of influential people.

It may be my best opportunity, but I’m not sure what influential people I would ask favors of. It could only be people involved in skateboarding, and since it’s Sunday, I won’t bother them. I guess I’ll miss my best opportunity.

However, it was a nice day today. I entertained a female guest from 1:00 – 7:00. I think she likes me, but I feel nothing towards her. She even sat patiently while I skated a ditch for almost an hour.

She took me to Escondido, Palomar, and Lou’s Records. We watched the “Lonely is an Eyesore” video, and she went home. I rounded out the evening listening to music, drinking coffee, and writing.

Was I a hot date or what? Now, remember, this was my private journal but I wrote “entertained a female guest” as if her privacy would somehow be violated if I wrote her actual name (it was Shawn, BTW). I originally met her at one of the Powell-Peralta video premieres (Animal Chin, I think).

Well, I’m rounding out tonight by drinking wine, listening to music, and writing.

If anyone isn’t shy, it’s you — under any circumstances. Just this once, though, you’ll have an easy blush on your cheeks. Better hide your face if someone’s around you don’t want to see.

Late night, Astrology.com? Are did you run out of ideas at Capricorn?

In any case, I’ll hide my face just to be safe. If I break a vase, I’ll run a race with a waif. Just to touch base, I’ll embrace those who are, who are… What? What are they? Tell me! What are they?

I can’t take this anymore, Astrology.com. I’m going to go play a game of Clue.

You’ll be more than happy to work overtime tonight — mostly because once you’re done, you’ll be able to sleep late tomorrow morning, and sleeping late is a luxury you haven’t allowed yourself in forever.

Two days late and seventy-six cents short, Astrology.com. I was more than happy to work overtime on Wednesday night, which is why I haven’t posted in two days. It won’t really count as overtime since I took Tuesday off to get caught up on house and life stuff.

And it wasn’t because I knew I would get to sleep in. No, I know better than that. I might get to sleep in tomorrow but I’m not counting on it. Don’t build my hopes up, Astrology.com.

I should be in bed right now, but I just need that bit of time to think and get it all straightened out. Why is it so difficult to get it all straightened out? Is it not crooked? It looks crooked to me. I have all these tools but I can’t get it straightened out. I have a simple list of goals but I am avoiding them.

Astrology.com, you must give me better answers!